Alternate Fairy-Tale Endings to Take the Place of “And they lived happily ever after.”

By Sabrina Abbot, via McSweeny
– – – –

And they barely tolerated each other.

And they stayed together because of the kids.

And their contempt for one another occasionally spilled over at family gatherings, prompting moments of uncomfortable silence.

And they expressed their unhappiness through passive-aggressive toilet-seat positioning.

– – – –
My Saturday’s dzen.